God's Will & Miscarriage

My mind is stirring over this concept - brought on indirectly by a friend, whom I will forgive for forcing me to get out of bed to blog about it at 2 O’clock in the morning (-:

God’s Will.
There are numerous comments that could arise at any given moment pinning some inhumane, ridiculous occurrence on God. When did this start happening? Who was it that lost their marbles first and started proclaiming that God, being sovereign, wills everything for good or evil? It’s the answer to the question, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” So many people are asking it, and even more people are not able to answer. I read a blog the other day where someone claimed that God “ordained” the Colorado school shooting and that someday when we get to heaven we will understand his reasoning. I about drew a holy freakin’ sword and sliced my computer screen in half.

Now, let’s really talk about God’s will.

Starting at the beginning: God’s will was that He would create a beautiful universe, using light and dark to form a very modern/industrial design worth capturing in a nice frame from Hobby Lobby, and hung on a wall in the average human house… ok, not quite at the beginning. Let’s start in the Garden.

God’s original design was perfect. EVERYTHING was perfect. He made awesome animals, beautiful plants and trees, etc. Then he carefully fashioned man in His image so that they could experience the deepest desire of all creation: Relationship. It is no joke or understatement when people say that God is 100% about relationship. It’s totally true!

In order for relationship to be perfect, He had to give man the freedom to choose to relate. Otherwise it would just be completely predictable, and the relationship wouldn’t be totally real. I’ve heard people say things like this before, and I think that most people get this part – I am just laying ground work. So, speculating that man would always choose to be in relationship with God, which was his ultimate desire and plan, let us review specimen A:

God loves Man

Man loves God

God protects and blesses Man

Man is most alive with God

God delights in Man

Man has wonderful perfect life

Man loves God more

All because God loves Man most

(Please understand this is a grossly simplified version of God’s original intent)

 

Unfortunately, it didn’t really go this way. Man fell. And here’s the kicker…

(drum roll)

THERE IS NO PLAN B!!!

Luckily, God just happens to be all these things:

Sovereign, redeemer, savior, merciful, kind, gracious, etc.

And this is where some of them really come into play.

I do believe that God knows the end from the beginning, the details and the big picture. But I would venture to say that it is not because of sovereignty, which is what it is often attributed to. No, I would say it is just because He is God and He’s a big “know-it-all,” in the best sense. I believe that sovereignty is what allows everything that happens in between the fall to the complete manifestation of His Kingdom to be used “for good,” aka to direct us back to relationship with Him, which is what he desires most and what makes man most alive. Remember, His original intent was for us to be in relationship with Him, in His presence, 24-7.

There are four variables that affect out life:

1. Our choices

2. Others choices

3. Fallenness

4. God’s will

I can see how all of these work together clear as day in my mind as a picture… maybe I’ll paint it someday. But for now, let me try to explain using English. Actually, let me use an example!

Miscarriage.

Miscarriage is a horrible occurrence that most people don’t know how to respond to. But let’s talk about it. I have personally lost two babies. Grieving a baby you never met is a difficult experience, and I can’t even imagine grieving one that you have met! But for the sake of the topic, we will discuss my first miscarriage.

I got pregnant three months after we got married. 6 weeks later I lost the baby. It was a horrible, traumatic experience. Now looking back on it I know a few things:

My choices: I had been on birth control and just gotten off a few weeks before I got pregnant. I was naïve and unaware of the side effects coming off birth control (or the side effects of being on birth control  for that matter).

Others choices: Someone decided to put a drug on the market that could potentially kill the life of an unborn child without it being fully disclosed.

Fallenness: Once in a while the consequences of actions catch up to us. In this case, mine was the birth control baby that died. That babies die at all, hello!

God’s will: For me to be a wonderful loving mother to the beautiful baby that was growing inside me.

Perhaps someone would have told me that it was God’s will that my baby died. Ehh! Wrong answer.

Or maybe someone would have told me that it must not have been in the will of God for me to have a baby yet. Beep! Beep! Beep! False.

Or maybe someone would have accused me that I was not walking in God’s will, or something like that. And the point is not that people shouldn’t say stuff, because people do! We just talked about being affected by the choices of others. But when we see this principle of variables play out in our lives, we actually have two options to choose from.

Option #1: let the bad seed grow. Here is some of its fruit: “It is my fault! I took birth control!” “It’s the birth controls fault! I hate the people who made it!” “Woe is me, everything bad happens to me.” “God is doing this to me because he doesn’t like me as much as other people.”

In any one of the fruits listed in option 1, it is certain that some beliefs are going to be made that are inaccurate with who God is and who we are. It puts us on a slippery slope to ending up an old person overcome by the weight of our life - Most of the time we don’t even realize that we are making decisions and forming new beliefs. To be honest, I didn’t get this revelation until this last year! That is why I am revisiting situations in my past as the Lord brings them up, with a second chance to choose Option #2:

REDEMPTION

So God, what is this? What do I do about it?

“God, I am sorry for using a substance that was harmful to the life you put inside me. I repent for being naïve and not understanding how my choices affect others.”

“God, I choose to forgive the people who made that drug. And I forgive myself for using it.”

“God, I repent for allowing the fallenness of the world to tempt me to believe that you created me to get the bad end of the stick. I understand that a lot of things are not the way you originally intended because of fallenness.”

“God, I believe that you always desire the best for me! Thank you for causing me to see that you were there with me 8 years ago, sitting beside me when I realized I was bleeding. Standing and waiting for me in the space when I ran out to find my car had been towed. Providing and caring for me through my generous and gracious boss. Steering the wheel as I drove in agony to the hospital. Holding my hand and kissing my forehead as I lay on that bed in the emergency room for 5 hours. Joining my heart with my sweet husband and surrounding us with your presence and healing. Thank you that you have always been there, even when I wasn’t looking for you. I choose to believe you, that you created me to be a wonderful and loving mother. Thank you for redeeming this time, instead of allowing me to continue on living in the remains of a fallen belief. I grab hold of your sovereignty and pull it down into this time, this hour, this experience - I receive your love and healing for a lifetime, and run deeper into relationship with you.”

 

The truth is that God’s will is what it always was. And now we allow His sovereignty to take us back and move us forward, while having our lives redeemed along the way. We all have to journey through this world surrounded by the 4 variables; there is no way around them. Our only option for true freedom and peace is to live redeemed – utilizing that 24-7 open line between us and God that was restored through CHRIST! (Thank you Jesus!) – and it always brings us back to His original design and intent: Relationship.

His sovereignty is amazing! It actually allows for all kinds of crappy stuff to happen, and us still be able to experience all the best of what he desires for us – individually and corporately. It also allows us to really know who God is! We don’t have to go through life collecting bad beliefs about Him that, in the end, cause us to withdraw from relationship.

I have believed all kinds of lies – that God doesn’t speak to me; that God doesn’t come through for me; that God only gives me the bare minimum; that the way God made me is not good enough; that he made my body gross and shameful; that he doesn’t satisfy me as much as chocolate. SERIOUSLY! And I probably believed all these lies before I was 10 years old. Thanks to Christ’s work on the cross, I have exchanged all these lies for the truth, and now my past is being redeemed as my future gets more and more free.

Everyone is different. Everyone has a different story and different stuff to deal with. But ALL of it can be redeemed!

My new motto is “an exchange a day drives the shackles away” (-: